Soda must've said something to Dawn about the state I was in because when she showed up to my house a couple days ago, she literally dragged me out of bed, threw me in the shower and said "Get ready, we're going to a fucking party."
Once I looked acceptable by Dawn's terms, we headed out. I wasn't sure where we were headed but I didn't really care either. I just needed something to help me forget.
The house we arrived at was in an even worse part of town than our neighborhood and looked like a run down piece of shit. I turned to Dawn with what must've been a rather displeased expression. "Dawn Cade, did you bring me to a god damn crack house?"
"Oooops." she said with a slight smirk before grabbing my hand to lead me inside.
The place was packed like some sort of rave with straight up junkies and loud music was playing that I didn't know. All sorts of smoke filled the air and bottles of booze were already discarded amongst the place. Before Dawn and I could do anything, we were approached by none other than Mr. Owen Thatcher. "Ladies, enjoy." he said smoothly as he handed us two Solo cups filled with something strong enough to smell from a foot away.
"Isn't this place a little too low-class for your taste, Thatcher?" Dawn asked with a cocked eyebrow before taking a long sip of our mystery drink.
"I go wherever the party is my dear." Owen replied with a wink. "When you two are done with that special little concoction, feel free to join me back over there for some real fun."
The familiar sting of hard liquor warmed my throat as I downed whatever was in the cup. The edge was beginning to wear off, just as I had hoped.
Dawn and I maneuvered our way through the countless grinding bodies to where Owen had directed us to meet him. We found him and some strangers in a little corner with some couches, a coffee table and the biggest amount of weed I'd ever seen in my life. Owen rolled Dawn and I couple blunts as we relaxed into a couch that had mysterious stains that I didn't dare attempt to decipher what they were. I had to give it to Owen, it was the best shit I'd smoked in a while. The familiar feeling of relaxation soothed my mind and I could feel the pain begin to leave my body. For the first time in days, I actually felt content. Mix that with whatever it was we were continuing to drink, you had one happy Jelly.
Dawn and I were messing around attempting to French inhale and blow smoke rings when Owen and someone I didn't recognize approached us with a delightful offer. "How about you two try something that'll really get the party started?" They set a couple bags of a powdery substance that I recognized as cocaine down on the table. I had never done coke as it had always seemed a little too dangerous to me, but normal Jelly's moral arguments were long gone. I was too far gone to care.
"Fuck it." I said to Dawn with a smile.
One of the strangers was nice enough to make a few lines for us and handed us rolled up bills to use. All the strangers in our small little corner smiled at us as we bent over, bills to our noses. I don't know about Dawn, but I felt the effects almost immediately. It was like pure life itself was shot into my veins. Everything became brighter, more beautiful. My heart began to race and I felt pure adrenaline. The music suddenly sounded amazing and the smell in the air became irresistible. The group grinned as they recognized the visible change in me.
I was now ready to party.
Everything else that happened after was a blur. A magnificent, beautiful blur.
My first stop was the top of the bar because I wanted to dance for everyone to see. The song that had come on was suddenly my new favorite jam and I was ready to go. A small crowd began to gather as Dawn hopped up with me and we started dancing together. Apparently we were entertaining because some stranger called "Kiss!" Dawn and I went from dancing for the crowd to making out to cat calls and whistles. Neither of us felt anything from it, but it just seemed like the thing to do in the moment.
The next blur came when I found myself lying on the bar topless with everything from lines of cocaine to body shots to sugar on me. I just laughed as countless people used my body as their personal table. Every time someone was done with me, I was rewarded with a hit of something, a pill from somewhere or a shot of God knows what. Something about it made me feel special in some odd way.
Whenever the buzz began to wear off even a little, I'd take another Kamikaze shot or snort another line. I didn't want the beautiful feeling to end.
Somewhere in the course of events, I lost Dawn when she went off somewhere with Owen. I wasn't too worried as I was too focused on the music. I let it take over and I danced without a care. I suddenly felt two hands on my wait that sent shivers up my spine. I spun around and looked into the eyes of someone I hadn't known was here until this moment. Something about his eyes drew me in, they were the most beautiful things I had seen that entire night. We began to dance together, every time we touched I felt a spark erupt through my body. We found ourselves locked in a passionate kiss, the kind of kiss where it feels like pure fire. He began to kiss my neck when I realized how much I wanted him. Now. I could feel the need radiate from my body. He must've sensed my urgency because he whispered in a husky voice whilst kissing my ear, "Do you wanna find somewhere more quiet?" I wasn't even able to say yes, it came out as more of a moan.
The minute we found a quiet bedroom and locked it, we couldn't be restrained. My legs were wrapped around his waist as he set me down on a dresser and slowly crept his hand up my thigh. I wasn't in the mood to be teased. After I helped him remove his shirt, I began to kiss and bite down his chest. I stopped just before his belt and smirked at him. "Touche." was his response before we began to hastily kiss and undress each other further. He tossed me on the old bed and began to kiss down my stomach. It was pure electricity. But something in me didn't want to mess around. I wanted to get straight to it. I flipped him over and he laughed. "Feisty." Before I could do anything though, I was flipped onto my back once again. Just when I was about to respond with my own comeback, he began to bring us to our highs. There was nothing romantic or passionate about it, it purely came from lust. After we both reached our climaxes, I remember nothing but finally blacking out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I woke up the next morning with a pounding in my head and everything was blurry.
Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? Why does my everything hurt? Where am I?
As things began to clear up I recognized that I was in a bedroom but not mine or anyone's from the gang.
I felt like my body had a craving for something. Maybe a cigarette? I'd light one after I figured out why I was here. I suddenly felt like something else was missing. I felt naked. Oh my god I was naked.
Why am I naked?
I could feel I was on a bed. What the hell had happened? I slowly turned my head to see a body with messy hair next to me.
Is that....Hunter?
A sudden wave of recognition hit me. I felt like I was going to be sick. Broken memories played from last night in my mind. I had slept with...Hunter. I. Had. Slept. With. Hunter. IhadsleptwithHunter.
Oh my god. I'm going to be sick. I'mgoingtobesickI'mgoingtobesickI'mgoingtobesick.
I took a few shaky breaths to calm myself down. I was going to find my clothes and leave. That seemed like a safe plan. He wouldn't remember a thing. I could pretend it didn't happen. No one had to know. Soda didn't have to know. Oh my god Soda. I had cheated on Soda.
I could feel the tears coming as I dressed. I felt disgusting, dirty......
God, what is wrong with me? How could I do this?
The pounding in my head got worse and I suddenly became aware of the burning in my throat and nose.
I was searching for my shoes when I heard rustling from the bed and a confused "J....-Jelly?"
I turned to look at Hunter and when we made eye contact he seemed to have made same realization I had minutes earlier. "No...we couldn't have..."
I rushed over to bed and sat next to him. Looking him straight in the eye I said "No one can know about this Hunter. No one." I began to choke up. "Audrey can't know. Soda can't know. We-we weren't thinking straight okay? This stays between us alright?" I couldn't help but begin to cry. This was all too much. Everything hurt. My mind was racing. I couldn't see straight.
Hunter grabbed his pants from next to the bed and took something from the pocket to hand to me. He had handed me a couple little white pills. "They should help you calm down."
I swallowed the pills and hoped he was right. He began to sit up with the obvious intention to comfort me but I put my hand on his chest to stop him. "This," I drew in a deep shaky breath, "never happened." Hunter nodded in understanding and I grabbed the rest of my things and rushed from the room.
The main room was a disaster. Bottles and passed out bodies were everywhere, making it difficult to navigate where I was going. Cigarettes and weed lingered in the air. I eventually found Dawn passed out on Owen's lap on a disgusting couch that had one too many people sleeping on it.
"Dawn...Dawney Poo..." I gently shook her awake, not knowing what kind of state she would be in.
She smiled sleepily as she saw me, "What a party Jells, what a party."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I let Dawn pass out in my bed once we made it back to my house. As I attempted to get some covers over her deep sleeping dead-weight body, I caught a glimpse of a photo I have of Soda and myself on my nightstand.
The sick feeling returned and I rushed to the bathroom to actually be sick this time.
I was shaky when I stepped into the shower. My body was craving whatever it was I took last night. I'd have to take care of that soon.
Thoughts of the previous night flooded my mind as I slid down the shower wall. The water poured over me as I cried.
What had I done?
.JPG)
